Posted in my thoughts, personal, sex

On Sex and waiting after marriage

Sexual compatibility isn’t about the act of having sex


It’s so much more than that. It’s a heart connection. That’s why having sex outside of marriage (or committed long term relationship) can be so damaging. 

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Asking how can one know if they’re compatible if they don’t try before marriage is a pointless question.

Because you can know before you ever engage in sexual intercourse.

I waited. But we both knew we were compatible because we didn’t abstain from touching each other and talking about what we liked.

You see the way I see it is this: if you know your own body you can actually make yourself compatible with your partner. You just need to communicate your needs, and they theirs. You have to be on the same page, emotionally and mentally. The physical side of things will follow.

I don’t pretend to be an expert about these things, but I think I’ve managed to prove a couple of people wrong on that front.

Waiting until after marriage has actually made it all the better.

One more thing. In the end, it comes down to the act of love.

God, who is Love incarnate, created the act of sex to be enjoyed between a married couple. It is the ultimate show of love and trust in a relationship.

For me, waiting until after marriage was the best decision I ever made.

No regrets.

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Posted in Blogging, my thoughts, personal, prevention, protection, sex

The importance of Safety

This is a topic that isn’t easy to broach, especially as it’s always such a private issue.  But the subject of practising safe sex is an important one, regardless of the relationship. 

 I believe in using protection during sex, I must admit mainly because it was drummed into me in high school.  So, how much of that is just an ingrained lesson from when I was young, to something that I seriously actually believe in?

I am well aware of the risk of getting STIs, but, the bigger thing for me is how do I go about discussing this in a mature way without compromising how I feel about the matter?  
We did talk about this earlier on in the relationship, but we get married in less than three months and I have to admit that the act of sex is not something either of us is shy about.  But, my fiancé gives me the impression that he doesn’t see the necessity for protection.  
I am on the pill, but that’s not a fail safe and it doesn’t protect from STIs.  (And I’m on the pill for medical reasons concerning my iron levels not for sexually related reasons.)
And to be honest a part of me is not the biggest fan of the idea of using physical protection.  But, I’m also not a fan of the possibility of contracting a venereal disease.   
Big point to make:  This is not a trust issue.  
I trust my fiancé indefinitely.  And I do not think for one second that he would do anything that would harm me intentionally.  
This is a health risk issue.  And whether I’m willing to compromise my knowledge of how STIs work and how well condoms can actually protect against them for what we both think feels better…
I mean, obviously when we start trying to have children we won’t use protection, that’s a given.  But do I really want to start trying straight away?  Though, I am on the pill.  It’s a lot to think about and I really don’t know why I’m thinking about it right now.  
Guess that’s what happens when I stay up way past my bed time.  
And yes this is something I need to discuss with my fiancé.  But, I needed to sort my thoughts out here.
So, to clarify:
1.  I believe in using protection 
2.  I know the pros (lots of pros), and the cons (not that many really…and “it doesn’t feel good” isn’t an excuse)
3.  STI prevention
4.  This is not a trust issue
5.  We both believe in sex after marriage, so how do I even start this conversation? Not on our wedding night surely.  
6.  I’m a virgin, whatever that means.  Basically, I’ve never had sexual intercourse.