Posted in childcare, life, my thoughts, personal, work

Reflections of Myself

Listening to:  Encounter – Riverview Worship
Mood:  Awake, content, happy

I’ve had this thought:  Taking initiative is difficult for me.  Unless it comes to direct interaction with the children at work.  I’m more of a follower and thrive when being directed by others.

I had a big win the other day.  I was settling a child to sleep, and by reading a book that he chose he eventually just dropped off to sleep.  Sleep time can be difficult; the key is to remain calm and ‘low’ as it helps to settle the children down.  Especially if they are still spending their energy.

I think allowing the children to make choices and to give us cues as to when they are tired and being flexible with rest times works.  Rather than having strict rest times.  Obviously, once we have more children that may need to be altered, but while we have low numbers and the children we have are getting used to the centre it has worked quite well.

I am still super excited about heading to work each day, and I pray that this continues.  I know there will be down days; every job has that.  However, I am excited for the possibilities and helping my centre grow and become everything it can be for the community it aims to serve.

This is my centre and I’m proud of where we are and where we’re heading and absolutely blessed and feel that it is such a privilege to be part of such an important journey.

I still feel I have more to offer and just need to figure out what that is.  I’m not artistically inclined and sometimes it takes time for me to come up with ideas for programming, or abstract thinking.  I feel that comes back to the fact that I have a ‘follow the leader’ approach to life.

Give me a task to do and I’ll set my heart and mind to it.

Being left to my own devices I often flounder and will just stick to the easy route of allowing spontaneity to ensue.

This also leads to me appearing lazy; but, I’m far from it.  I’m usually just off in my own little world, which is always busy.  If I could write everything that was going on in my mind on any given day, I’d probably fill pages and pages…even write a book in a day.

So, just because I may look like I’m sitting around doing nothing, doesn’t mean I’m not actively engaging with the environment I’m in.

I guess children are like that as well.

I’ve learned from experience that a child who is sitting by themselves with nothing at hand doesn’t necessarily need or want attention.  Sometimes they are just processing their environment and will eventually make a decision as to what/how they want to engage.

Of course, there will come a time when some encouragement or prompting is welcomed, but this often depends on duration and other factors.  But, allowing children to make their own choices is important in building independence and teaching them how to navigate their world.

It’s how they learn.  It’s how we all learn.

We never stop learning and growing.

And, reflection is a big part of that.  So, here’s my first one for the year.  🙂

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Posted in Daniel McTavish, fiction, first person pov, my writing

The Uprising – Chapter Three – Wish

I asked Melissa if she could shuffle my schedule around. Told her there was somebody I needed to see. I could see the questions in her eyes, but was grateful she didn’t pry. Though, I could’ve told her…she knew Elliott after all.

Everyone knew him. The quiet, ruthless guy who got the job done.

I know I’ve spoken about him before. But, there is this thing you need to understand about Elliott. He was always where I needed him to be. In the down times, in the times of celebration. Just there. Like some kind of shadow. Even when I least expected him to be available. Even when it would’ve been better for him if he wasn’t around.

But, coming back to what Lachlan said to me, ‘trust your instincts; those words were churning around my mind, and giving me a headache. I needed to deal with it.

Being honest with myself was a start, right? The system angered me. The law made me despondent for the future prospects of my home. None of it made any real sense; the ban on any form of music. It was a sad state of affairs, considering almost everyone had forgotten the reasons behind the ban. Except for Elliott…he remembered.

“Elliott?” He was down in the cafeteria for a change, sans firearms and making short work of a couple of sandwiches.

He glanced up on hearing my voice, putting down the sandwich that was half eaten already. He must’ve seen something on my face, because instead of making some wisecrack he stood and tugged me into a hard embrace.

“I’m okay…” I said, “They haven’t…”

Elliott released me, brow furrowing as he said, “They’re going to. Then where will you be?”

I sighed, taking the seat next to him. “He has to face the consequences of his actions.”

“You don’t agree with that.”

I twisted my lips. “Everyone’s assuming that, lately.”

“You don’t. I know you.” His pointed look was too close.

Sighing, I leaned back on the chair. “Lachlan said much the same.” I looked sideways at him. “He hasn’t done anything that warrants execution.”

Elliott nodded as he took a swig of his beer. “So, what’s the deal then?”

I started shaking my head; the scowl he sent my way gave me pause, the seed of a thought planted in my mind. I didn’t know whether I wanted to put words to it, though. It was dangerous thinking. But, I couldn’t deal with Lachlan’s execution. And if I could do something about it…

Who was I kidding? I was down here, seeing Elliott, for a reason. Apart from him being the main bounty hunter in the City, he also had a few other tricks up his sleeve. Working under the radar was the norm for him, and the City turned a blind eye. That could work for me.

“By the way, thanks for ditching me,” Elliott said, drawing my attention back to him.

“What?”

He picked at the cheese on his plate. “I had to deal with the idiots on my own. Pips was out of it.”

Right. His brother. Crap, I was meant to be there for him. Though I figured I could be excused, since I had Lachlan to worry about. I murmured an apology. He waved me off.

“Come over and buy us drinks,” he said, with a flash of teeth.

My lips twitched, because it was so like him to think that was a good way to apologise for something. He never asked for much. Gave a lot. Considering his profession maybe that wasn’t so surprising.

Elliott said, “You have a break, right?”

“Let me check with Melissa.”

Elliott, laughing, said, “She’s not your mother, Danny. Just come over.”

I nodded. “We’ll see.”

“Yeah. So, what’re you going to do about Lachie?”

Turning away from him, I scanned the cafeteria, noting that we were the only people present. In hindsight, Elliott must have chosen this particular time to be down here. No one else around to hear us. And, he had the patience of a saint. I knew he’d wait me out, no matter how long it took for me to get my head in the game. Which, if I was being honest with myself, was only a matter of flicking a switch in my mind.

Easier said than done, though.

Being part of The Creed since my teens, I had a lot of stuff ingrained in me that even if I stopped agreeing with it, forcing myself to act in contradiction to my training would be difficult.

“I’m not one to defy the status quo,” I said, breaking the quiet that started setting in. Elliott’s answering snort set me on edge. “Elliott. I’m really not.”

Elliott’s eyebrows twitched. “If that’s the case, Tav, you should get up and walk away.”

I didn’t move, instead pulled out my phone to switch it off, coming to a decision. “I need you.”

I think if I was the type to make wishes, now would be the time that a wish was granted. In hindsight, Elliott had probably been waiting a long time for me to get to this point. To come see him, and admit that there was something fundamentally wrong with our situation.

Becoming the T-One…that was a huge thing for me; maybe more so, considering that placed a lot of power in my hands and the ability to change things. Even with all the risks involved…

Elliott tilted his head, brows furrowed. “Tell me.”